2 weeks later

Two weeks ago darling Allie didn't come home at night and there was a night of anguished worry. And yet two weeks on, time has marched on, just as it always does. I can't help but be thankful that the flyer drop at least brought with it finality- even though the news was bad. I was fully ready to get up the next day and continue the search, and even though hope would have faded over time if the hunt was not successful, I would have kept looking and looking for my girl. More than I can say I feel for those families of the "presumed dead" with a feeling of dread- and yet still a glimmer of hope.

But in the aftermath of tragedy there are always things that stick out... When I was looking for Ms. Allie I dropped about 20 flyers off at targeted houses in the neighbourhood. I got an amazing response rate. In addition to the one person who had seen her the day she disappeared, and then the one who found her, I had two futher phone calls from people who had seen white cats. I also had one from a near neighbour who said she often saw Allie in the afternoon in her yard and told me she'd keep an eye out. It was so encouraging to find out there are so many thoughtful neighbours in the neighbourhood, regardless of the sad outcome.

Also- I have a calendar on my desk at work. The day I found out about Allie the quote on the day's calendar was from Pericles. "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." What stuck out in my mind is that if one little cat can have such an influence on one person, think about the influence each of us as individuals can have...

And suddenly, all of those little annoyances about her becoming charming in my memory. Cleaning the closet tonight I found a roll of tin foil. I left it there to perpetually keep covering the bottom of the bed to deter her from scratching it. It's a good reminder to think of those close in our lives with the perspective that those little things are the things that make them "them", and special, and to not sweat the small stuff.

Jasper has been rather lost since Allie went missing. Always a foodie, he has not seemed overly hungry. In fact today was the first day he had a full breakfast and dinner. He has been meowing a lot and searching, still. I don't want him to spend his days lonely so the plan is to get another kitten. She will be another ragdoll, completely different in colouring to Allie, but I hope she will come with the laid back ragdoll personality that I have come to love. I expect it will be a difficult introduction and transition between her and Jasper. But this time I do hope my two kitties will be able to spend years together. More than 2 1/2 years, I hope...

A very sad day- RIP Allie

Allie (Sept 3,2009-Mar 29,2012)

It's been a long while since I posted. But today I have a heavy heart, and need to express it- so here goes.

I grew up on a farm and have always been an animal lover. On the farm I had cats like Tigger and Puff to dogs like Lassie and Lady, to cows like Dusty and Columbi, to rabbits like Easter and Brownie, and horses like Apache and Star to express that interest and passion upon. When I was 17 and trying to decide the direction of my life I agonised over the decision of whether or not to go be a vet. Until then, this had been my long time expectation. Ultimately, in what was for me a moment of unusual clarity, I decided it was wrong for me for a number of reasons, but promised myself I would own animals instead.

When I moved to Regina for University for so long I lived without animals until finally I moved into a flat with people that had a cat. I was in Regina for 10 years, but never long enough to make the commitment that owning a pet myself entails. When it came time for me to move on from KPMG and learn more about the world, I chose NZ due to it's "not too hot, not too cold" climate, and because I understood it was a pretty laid back place to be. But 10 years on, I still hadn't kept my promise to myself.

After 2 1/2 years in NZ, I had managed to shut off a part of my practical nature that tends to make most of my decisions and allow a bit of my heart to decide. I finally decided I was settled enough to remember my promise to myself and get myself some animals. My heart settled on the ragdoll cat- which I had seen at a recent catshow I visited in Wellington. That was the one and only time I'd seen them, but they were just what I wanted. After research and much waiting, my beautiful little girl Allie arrived via an Air New Zealand flight and my darling boy Jasper arrived about 6 weeks later.

Life changed for the better in those moments. There were many annoyingly challenging kitten moments such as Jasper's SLOWNESS to learn the litter box and their affinity for playing with the venetian blinds in my first house. But there were so many good moments to make up for it. There was little Allie jumping off the bed to use the litter box in the wee hours of the morning the first night I had her and then wanting back up but being unable to get up herself. I remember as kittens how they used to watch me in the flowerbed out the window and meow at me, and how scared of the pumpkin plant I was growing that they wouldn't cross it. There were many moments of playing with Allie after we discovered her favourite toy was a simple string. I loved how she would drop her toys (e.g. octopus and mouse, and later string) in or near her food bowl and pretend she was eating them. This summer, as a 2 year old her focus changed and she really wanted to be a big hunter. She caught and released her first 2 birds this summer. I was so proud of her... Particularly the one not long ago where I was home sick from work and the bird flew right into the house and she was on it. Despite her timid nature- she would occasionally show that she had the heart of wild creature.

Then the night before last she wasn't home when I got home from work. A flyer drop yesterday brought initial hope, as someone had spotted her, but the second phone call was the heart breaking one. She had been hit by a car. She was found by an animal lover a block over from me- and he buried her next to his dog who only died last week as well.

I can ask the why questions... Why: how? She was a timid cat. Not one to venture far from me if I was around. Not one to venture far from the back yard- and certainly not on her own without her braver brother or people around. If you would take her out for a walk she wouldn't go far from you, would always keep you within about 5 m of you. What could have caused her to go so far away and on her own? This behaviour was so completely unlike her. I can only imagine that perhaps she saw a bird, and she let the wild creature in her take over and follow it further from home than normal, until she got lost. I could have never anticipated that she would get so far away from her quiet street so far from busy roads and find the danger that she found. The world is not a safe place and every living moment bears a risk.

I can't begin to express my grief in this moment. She was not only a pet; she was a part of my family. Since I got her there wasn't a night where she didn't sleep with me on my bed if I was home. I'll miss her snuggles, her constant demand for grooming and string playing, and how she would kick kick kick with her back legs when she was playing as we did every morning before I left for work. Animals are loyal. I only hope that I can be as loyal to those important in my life as she was to me.

I wish I could explain to her brother Jasper that she is gone and won't be coming back. He will have the real adjustment and he just doesn't understand.

I will always be an animal lover and will never regret letting these wonderful creatures into my life.

Irving Townsend said :

“We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way."

And CS Lewis said

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

My animals certainly have had my heart and will continue to do so. There are many more who do not have people to love them and to love. If you've read this and related and it has touched your heart, in memory of Allie make a donation to your local animal shelter. And for those of you with pets (or any of your loved ones for that matter), live each day as if it was their last. Thursday was just another day when I went to work, but when I returned, things were different.

My final plea in memory of Allie is to let those desires of your heart be expressed: be the real you. Follow through with those promises you have made to yourself. Allie had a short life, but she enrichened my life. RIP Allie girl. You are already so missed.

MMP Results

On the 25th November NZ election there was also a referendum on NZ's version of proportional representation. The results were released yesterday- with people in favour of keeping MMP. I am SO puzzled why people would have voted that way. ... Only yesterday did John Key advise the Governer General of the intention to form a government. So after the election, weeks of nothing, I would suppose as he works out his coalition agreements. I don't like MMP because it results in perpetual coalition governments. Small parties or influential one person shows ally with the biggest party and get given too much influence for their portion of support. Voters don't know what they'll get.

In my view good governments do more than just troll through their term bouncing about but instead made decisions and often bold moves. New Zealand's short 3 year election term coupled with the MMP induced lack of a decisive and clear government mandate, in my view weakens the ability of the NZ government to act boldly and decisively for the people of NZ.

Jogging

I arrived in NZ in 2006 and completed my first and only half marathon in early 2007.
A few years ago I competed in a 1/4 marathon. I haven't done much since until I ran the 5km in the South island masters games a month or two back. I've been jogging regularly for the past month or so and recently purchased a Garmin GPS watch. I love it! Now I can check my pace, and all sorts of data and then when I get back analyze how it went. I hope it will get easier over time and I'll be able to build up distance at my current pace.

An auckland trip

My boss & I were flying to Auckland Thursday night. As were were about to Board, there was an annoucment that due to operational requirements we would be flying via New Plymouth. It was later annouced that we'd be picking extra passengers up. I was mighty surprised to see that one of the passengers was none other than a smiling Prime Minister John Key. The fellow in the row in front of me who was from overseas mentioned how good he thought it was, than their key leaders wouldn't fly commercial. I don't think many on the plane minded- we had a good tail wind so ended up only around half an hour delayed. A few people went up and said hello to Mr. Key.
We were staying in Parnell & we stopped at one of the first restaurants we came across- which was Siam I am. I had the best thai chicken dish I've ever eaten. Friday we attended an NZICA course on doing business in Australia which was really good. Then I had a good catch up and visit Friday night through mid day Saturday with one of my former flatmates and we found a tasty mexican restaurant for lunch . I was reminded during the visit how lovely the Auckland waterfront is. The tram that was going through the new Wynyard area didn't have many passengers, but I'd like to do it one day.

Now back in Nelson I've cast my votes in the election today. There were 2 ballots- one to cast the party vote and candidate vote, and the other to cast about whether to keep MMP or not, and what option to go to if it was to be replaced. Interestingly, you mark check marks in NZ, not Xs. Election results should be out tonight. The election campaign is very low key compared to a Canadian campaign- I can't really say I saw anything in the form of attack ads.

A few things

Once again it has been a great while. Things have been busy with me moving in to a new job.

I recently entered the South Island Masters Games in 3 different events and came away with 3 medals. I entered the 3km race walk which I underestimated the pain of. Wow- I could barely walk for several days after from my soreness after having had to land with a straight knee. I threw a discus for the first time in about 15 years and I seem to think I came about 10 m less than I used to. And finally I did a 5km road race and came up with a really good time for me and a bronze medal. A friend and I also attended one of the events: the Harbour cruise. Too bad it was rainy and overcast that day- I'd loved to have seen the view of the Nelson from the Harbour. It was a great event- a 97 year old man competed in the 5km road walk and won a gold medal. I think he really showed a lot about the benefits of staying active.

It's into garden and flower planting season here and I've been going a little crazy. Many different plants planted... Stay tuned for how they turn out and grow.

I really enjoyed watching the Amazing Race Australia which just finished. It was the first season and the Aussies were racing for $250K. My favourite- the cowboys only made it to the final 4 where they were eliminated after a challenging sewing task. I think they picked the Aussie host based on how much he looked like Phil K from the normal American Race. I wish they'd do an Amazing Race NZ! :)

to Canada and back again

I've been rather silent. I was in Canada mid July through mid August.
My flight Auckland to Vancouver was delayed. I arrived at Vancouver airport about an hour and a quarter before my connecting flight. After clearing customs I RAN through to the domestic transfer desk, got my boarding pass, went through security and then RAN to my gate where my aircraft was boarding. I am thankful the security person didn't select me- from the time he was spending on the person a number in front of me, I think I would have missed my flight. I arrived in sunny and HOT Regina later that evening and had a few days in the Regina area catching up with friends. I then took STC bus up to Glaslyn where I was picked up by mom and dad. I had nearly a week with them. Next on the holiday trail was some time camping in the Meadow Lake Provincial Park. In small Saskatchewan fashion, after selecting Mistohay Lake to camp at, we met our neighbour who turned out to be related to my uncle and aunt. We also spotted a bear at the neighbouring camp site just across the road. Thankfully the neighbours boxer dog scared him away later that night for the duration of our trip. We had quite a wild thunderstorm during the first night there- it was amazing how the tent lit up, lightning flash after lightning flash. Thankfully we didn't get the big hail some of the other campsites just up the road did. Next on the holiday trail came a half day shopping at West Edmonton Mall. This was done en route to Kelowna where we had a few days visiting with mom/ dad/ my brother and sis in law/ my first niece and my other brother and his girlfriend. That was all good family time. And then we flew to Vancouver Island and had 4 1/2 days there, before we had to transit back to Vancouver and return home. I could never live in Tofino with its summer cloud and fog cover, but it was a beautiful place to visit. We had an amazing encouter with 2 humpback whales when we went on the hot spring boat tour. I don't think I've ever been so amazed and so afraid all at once. It was sad to see the end of holidays, but it was definitely a good break. We returned to quite the cold snap with many flights cancelled the day we arrived. Thankfully, ours was only bumped back a couple of hours. Welcome back to winter- which in Nelson thankfully consists of a lot of sun.