Just weeks away...

I've been a bit rather silent of late.

Things have been trucking along in my little world and now it's only weeks away from my big day.  They say every little girl dreams of her wedding; but I was a bit more of a practical bent. I can honestly say I never imagined the specifics of my wedding as a girl; never thought about a dress or any of the finer details. I just had this big picture dream of a Rockies honeymoon, but not much beyond that.    I am just over a month away from my Rockies wedding so that dream living in the piece of my heart will be coming true.  Further, it will be a day with a small group of people.  This is quintessentially me; for I am not one for loud crowds or being the centre of attention.

Standing a few weeks out: what do I think I'm going towards?  Well, I have to say- I am not expecting to walk into a fairy tale.  "They lived happily ever after"?  Really?  Isn't it interesting that every story or movie we read or watch has plot, and characters develop and we stay interested because of conflict and character development?  I expect it to be the same for us in life.  The movie "Ever After", a spinoff of the classic cinderalla story stands out in my mind so strongly because they didn't say "they lived happily ever after", but something instead like "they lived."  And that is the point, living live together and making life better together. Walking into marriage, I expect to face good times and bad times.  Times of peace and times of challenge.  But times that can be faced and decisions that can be made together.

I have come across a few marriage related quotes that I very strongly identify with:

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.   - Louis de Bernières, from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

And another:

But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take.If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected.

- Madeleine L’Engle, from The Irrational Season